* rest day *

im taking a 4 days rest before i continue with the last battle of my whole entire 3 years of undergrad education..

reason being : my right hand is sore and still cramping..and my neck, dont get me started..

how has the past few papers been treating me?

answer to that :

pretty nasty..its either i have no time to finish or i am overloading my papers with craps and more craps hoping that if one crap doesnt gain me any marks, the other might..

but i was glad that the intensity of cramping 3 papers in 5 days span is over..

i have a solid 4 days to myself to rest and relax and live in denial that im on a holiday mode..

the next 4 days i need to study..............that can wait..

hahaha..

im just sssssssssoooooooooooooo lazy..

what a bummer..

* stressing out and chocking in *

Lord,

yesterday was bad and the day before was not that good either..

either way, i felt disconnected..

i really wished that it will all go away and i will again be connected..

i am stressing out and freaking out, yet find no motivation to push through..am i taking all that i have now for granted?

i am fearing for my future..i have no aim left..just wishful thinking..

Lord, help me to carry on..and let Your will be done in me..

Lord, i surrender to You..and i will always note that the joy of the Lord is my strength..

thank you, Lord for being there for me..

Amen.

* resume resume resume *

i have been sending out my resume like nobody's bizness..

there is this job that i wanted which ive sent the resume over like a month ago..still no news..i called up the fella this morning only to know that im still consideration..

haiyo..nonid to consider edi..just take me and interview me la then only reconsider la..make me panic only man..

but then again, i am still sending out my resume..

frankly speaking, i have no idea what i wanna work as after i graduate..i just want my ni life to continue on without any commitment forever and evermore..which clearly, its a wishful thinking..

yesterday, i attended my last lecture ever..for now la if i decided not to continue with my studies, then its really the last..i had my last lecture with my favourite lecturer for my favourite subject and i was kinda emo the whole time..somewhere in my heart, i didnt want that lecture to end but it ended anyways..so sad..
i will definately miss sleeping during lectures..talking during lectures and doing all kinds of nonsense during lectures..

oh man..

i cant believe this but im missing my uni life now..badly..


* sob sob *

* another day *

image by ste5ens

i really should be studying now but nothing seems to enter my tiny brain..

i really need help here..

im just 8 days away from my first killer paper and i havent really done much to sustain my class of degree..

help, anyone?

brighter side, tomorrow me going to uncle's house for lunch with kvlye..we're having pasta..

* excited *

* while shopping *

ang moh's kids are so cute..
this thought just came out randomly..

guess where am i now??
im in mph midvalley and yes..i ahve to pay for this service..hehe..and right next to me is this hot mom with her ang moh son..such a cutie..he would look at me and smile and then say to his mom, "mom, im fairer than her.." and he was referring "her" to yours truly here..such a cutie..

reason why i decided to spend rm4 for an hour is because im stuck here doing nothing..couldnt go online on my mobile and i ran out of money to shop so might as well just waste my time here while waiting for kvlye to come pick me up..phew!!!

me went shopping earlier on..alone..
and me bought slippers for me bro and me kvlye..from reef..
buy 2 free the 3rd item and me got meself a pair of cutesy flip flop for free..
well..sort of free la but after the conversion and bla bla, you realised it is paid anyways..
but the thought that i got it for free is really making smile alot for the past few hours..
ive been here for almost 3 hours now..another 3 more hours to kill..

sigh!!!

anyways, im going to shop again after my session here is over..

please pray that i dont open my purse and take any money out..

* fingers crossed *

* blessing *

take the time to count your blessings instead of airing your complaints..
this is such a powerful quote i received..

and for this, i want to thank the Lord for this 10 things:



1. i thank the Lord for He is a good God

2. i thank the Lord for blessing me with a great family

3. i thank the Lord for kvlye and his family and KZ team

4. i thank the Lord that i am doing well in church and uni

5. i thank the Lord for His daily provision for my family and me

6. i thank the Lord that i am alive and well

7. i thank the Lord for being with me all the time

8. i thank the Lord for saving my gramps

9. i thank the Lord for His forgiveness, His mercy and His love

10. i thank the Lord for the salvation of my non believer family members..
yes..amen..i am claiming it..thank you Lord..

* happie *

i have to prepare for point system this week and i have to get it done by friday cuz it needs to be up on saturday..i was caught up with thesis and last min of studying for my finals and later found out that i have not much time to do the point system..
buy kvlye was ever sweet..he calmed me down and took me out for a walk in the mall..and he told me that he will take my place..that he will finish up the point system for me..and he asked me to concentrate of my life app that i have to do for both days and he also asked me to concentrate on my thesis and my finals..so much of support i receive from him..how much more can i ask for?i feel loved..

just little little thoughts like that makes a whole lots of different..to me it is the little little things that in the end, adds up to the large sum and it is priceless..

* all along the month of april *

dearie..we have reached the fourth month of the eyar..
my..how time flies..
as i looked back over the past few weeks, i decided to just type what i went through in the month of april..nothing fancy..

first week of april started off with me submitting my thesis to my supervisor..i didnt expect much but the thought of it being a subject by itself freaks the living crap out of me..4 solid credit hours to claim..and i have just collected my result for my first draft..it was bad at all..in fact, much higher than i expected but the fact of other of my classmates did so much better than me, and the fact that i am one of the lowest among the group hurts me ego big time..and i know there is nothing more i can do about it..so much of being on time, ahead of time and so much of getting infos from my supervisors did not really paid off well for me as compared to my other classmates..and really, it is a big comparison i will say..i am happy for them but not for myself..i wished i would share their bundle of joy too..

we celebrated easter in KZ last sunday and kvlye did the lesson..he went beyond my expectations and i was really very proud of him..seeing him on stage and doing what most people cannot do really impresses me much..and the dance..my team was awesome..all glory to Him..

kvlye has been going outstation quite frequently this month and this month itself up till today, its already 4 times and to me, it is more than the previous times..he travels alne most of the times and im worry sick everytime he has to go alone and mind you, its really far..talk about kl to penang and stuffs like that..with him going outstation so much, the time he has for me are affected..we have to sacrifice our time together to give way to his work and i ended up being not so happy about it and because of that, we argued and quarrelled quite alot too..but we're ok now..he is off to johor today and im missing him..

i've managed to kill those belly fats of mine..i dont know how i do it but i did it..i can again wear my shorts that i once cannot fit into..

and i have been shopping online like crazy for the past few weeks..so much of the economic turmoil, eh?

being dating kvlye every friday night..after his work, we will head off for dinner in some nice restaurant then we will go for a movie and then late night dessert before we go home..he is making up to me the times in which he have to go outstation..he is making efforts and im happy..we went to marche last friday..verdict, bad..haha..dont know about you but we hated it big time..

also, i have been skipping whole lots of classes in uni..i have my own reasons of not going..and i refuse to explain why in my blog..you can ask me personally if you wish to know why..and im sure, some of you already knew..haha..

i did sent my resume out looking for jobs only to get rejected..the immense pressure of having to secure myself with a job before i graduate really makes me want to stab myself with a knife..news about my friends who did not manage to secure a job for themselves isnt helping very much..as a result, i lost the motivation to even hunt for a job..and im very sure that i will not end up with a pr job..prolly gonna go for teaching..and hey, dont say that i cannot teach..i can, ok?enough of people coming to me and say, "christine, are you sure? you can or not one?later your student all die how?what is you start cursing and swearing in front of your students then how"..how sure are you that i will do such a thing? have i done so during my FORMAL presentation?hello...........answer me....
when i say i can, means i can..i detest being insulted and humiliated in such way..how can one judge when i didnt even try yet?
talk about killing the students..how many have i killed so far from teaching?and mind you, i have teach before ok..hello..encouragement please...
would you like it if you are looking for a job then having send your resume, i come up to you with this sorta remarks..awfully painful, right?
i may laugh..i may joke..i may act as if nothing wrong is said but i remember and i am hurting so please people..if you dont have anything nice to say, shut up..
for those have said such a thing to me and os feeling terribly bad now and is making a vow not to do so to me ever again, i forgave you..so, apologies accepted..
there you go..go on..smile!!!

ok..i am FB-ing alot..i have been scrolling and kay-po-ing people's profile..looking into one by one of their profile and pictures..oh..i obtained juicy juicy information through FB..hahaha..

finals is less than 2 weeks..and im happily goofing around, doing everything but study..how great is that?i am slacking and my notes..im not even gonna mention that..everything else is disorientated..

and lastly..i wanna declare something out i the open...

I AM NOT READY TO WORK YET !!!!!!!!!!

* disappointed *

im in the shades of disappointment..

i dont know why but i foresee that this post is going to be an emo one..

i will be ok soon..

im hungry now by the way..