* a week's work *

this whole entire week..this whole of one week has been nothing but pain and disappointment to me..

i was really at the lowest point of my life..well, not my entire life but for now, yes..the worst..

but still..GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!!!

it couldnt have been worst but God is so good to have it all filtered for His beloved princess, ME!!

thank You, Lord..

* emo rants *

i was disappointed at some occasion..

still 'am' disappointed..

somehow, i take things personally and i ended up disappointing myself and upsetting myselt badly..

but its amazing..

the amazing thing is no matter how disappointed i feel and how upset i am, His faithfulness always makes me smile..

i marvel at His faithfulness..great is Thy faithfulness..

its what got me here..

* happy easter *

happy easter, peeps !!!

im on holiday tomorow and and im going shopping..

easter shopping, anyone?

:0)

* somebody help me *

somebody help me!!!

i cant stop buying shoes..

arrgghh!!!

i went on a spree again..and yes, for shoes again.. *aiks*

went to midvalley with kvlye for dinner..at my fav thai restaurant..i pestered him there cuz i was having a bad day at work and him being all nice, took me there..

after dinner, we..i mean i..decided to go for window shopping and clear enough, window shopping aint gonna work for me..

i ended up falling in love with 2 pairs of shoes from sachs,,

i bought another pair of wedges..loving it.. *woohoo* and i bought my first ever ballerina flats..so cute and so pretty..its black by the way with stuffs glued in the middle of it..hehe..

im already wearing the wedges to work..its abit auntyish but nvm la..to work..noone cares..haha..but the ballerina flats, super the pretty and im so loving it..

sont ask about the price cuz its really a pain in my butt butt..haha..

im going to admire my shoes now..bye bye..

* tired *

yup..

i am tired..

im so tired that i can practically lie asleep on my bathroom floor..

but all said about me being tired, i opt for shopping tonight..

* another one *

i went nuts on my purse last night..

bought another pair of shoes..this time, its a pair of running shoes..so pretty and it was definitely love at first sight..

i pulled kvlye aside and told him that i MUST get this pair..he, knowing that i have fallen so deeply in love with it, smiled and said, i'll but them for you..

so moving..

so i tried them on but i have no socks to go with it..so kvlye asked me to get a pair of socks..i told him, but i got alot at home..and he said, just try the shoes on with the socks..its better..and he said, il get them for you too..

so moving..

there, i got a pair of good running shoes and a pair of new socks..and he got a new pair of swimming pants..and we're going to exercise in the pool to loose some fats..woohoo..
hot babe and hot hunk coming through..

dinner was ok..kvlye's friend and gf came along..it was fun seeing the boys catching up old times..

movie was ok..the fact that i was freezing and a constant need to pee makes the steam so the potong..

alice in wonderland is not what i have expected..i think kvlye and i expected too much from the movie and it turned out that we were..or rather i was kinda disappointed..

i dont know about the rest but i kinda wished i didnt pay that much to watch it yesterday..

anyways, i like the hatter..

so now, im going to try on my new pair of shoes again..so till then, bye..

<3

* untitled *

today wasnt all good for me..ive been taken for granted and i was a bit mad..but today wasnt all bad..i had some fun time too.. *yipee*

im still here in the office when im supposed to be back already..its 4pm and work's over for me at 3pm daily..yes..daily at 3pm..haha..

i havent really talk about what i do for a living so here goes..

im teaching..yes..i said teaching..and im not that bad, surprise eh?haha..

im teaching in a private school and im teaching english..i know some of you might be thinking this..

stupid girl..why become a teacher when you have a decent degree and when you have good grades?
stupid girl..why become a teacher when you can do corporate and earn big bucks?

well, i am earning big bucks..haha..not really but il say that im earning more than i can and want to spent..i am earning market value and i am able to save up for my wedding with my earnings..and to top it all, i have tons of paid holidays and i have shorter working hours with good pay..and i happy everyday after work..

hah!

today's a bit late..i have to wait for my transport to arrive..it'll be another 2 hours..but im counting on tonight to be all jolly o jolly..

watching a movie at a decent cinema..well, not all cinema have decent seats and decent settings but some does and im going to one..and before the movie, il feast my favourite cuisine..did i say my favourite?yes it is..
il be expecting to do some shopping..going to spree all the way..did i say spree?oh yes i did..

so i guess il be jolly o jolly tonight..

i believe kvlye is sweating now..haha..

* whats wrong *

whats wrong with being childish?

a question not difficult to ponder but thats alot of pride to admit for some..


ive lived my life long enough to make decision, to make choices and to make amends..

whats wrong with being childish?


ive tasted the joy of courtship..ive tasted to bitterness of breaking up..ive tasted the pain of the loss of a loved one..ive tasted failure and disappointments..

whats wrong with being childish?

ive been through journey where im clueless and defenseless..

whats wrong with being childish?

ive tasted the joy and comfort of being loved and to love..ive tasted the hope of a future with the one..

whats wrong with being childish?


being childish in the heart brings out the joy in me..

whats wrong with being childish?

the joy i once felt during my childhood..the ones where i would quarrel with a best friend and cry about it like its the end of the world but when tomorrow comes, its a whole new day again..that friend was my best friend again and we forgot totally about what had happened that night before..

isnt it nice..to be childish..to have the child inside you..

we choose to baby talks instead of debates..we choose the playground instead of the cinema..we choose to play guns at home instead of vacations..we choose to eat pizza at home instead of fine dining..we choose to wear casuals instead of to be corporate and stylish..we chose to jump and hop around in the mall when we are happy instead of pretending to be cool..we choose to lick ice-creams off the cones like kids instead of eating it professionally..we choose to make fun of each other instead of making each other mad..we choose to call each other funny names instead of just calling each other's name..we are who we are..this is kvlye and i..and we are loving it..

so..tell me again, whats wrong with being childish..

* sick *

and again, i fell sick..

so therefore, im sick..

boohoo..

* help *

im in need of help..a self control help..

ever since ive been earning my own income, money is not a problem or an obligation to me anymore..somehow..

not that im earning alot but its my own money so i do not have much things to figure out..haha..

besides paying off rents and stuffs and savings..*yes, i do have savings and i save..hmppph*,
i still have loads more to spend and the shopping monster inside me is constantly coming out..

it is as if i have no control over it..and i ended up buying expensive things which in the end, regretted buying..

just the other day, i ended up buying lavish shampoo and lavish body shampoo for no rational reason..i tried to reason with myself thinking that its ok..its my birthday week so i getta pamper myself..but in the end, i regretted buying them all..i gotten myself 2 pairs of shoes which now are thrown under the seats of kvlye's car..i bought 4 cardigans of almost the same shades for nuts and a few tops for no practical reason..bought 2 dresses which i know i will never put them on, a watch which i dont really like now, a wallet that i think look hideous, a boardgame that i have no intention to play-kvlye does anyways, a bag which i dont use now, perfume that i seldom wears..gosh..im such a big spender..

my spending habits are going haywire..wild and nonsensical..it's like as if im stupid..

just last night, some of my intestine got tangled up and it hurt like neraka..i thought i was going to get myself an operation instead, i was told to have bread and bread alone for dinner..but kvlye and i, we went to chilis and i did not have bread and bread alone..

*ka-ching*..money gone..not mine but stil..it's money you know!!

i thought i would be a little smarter this time in the mall..you know, not buying anything, just window shopping but i guessed window shopping just dont work for me..i ended up buying a pair of pants from mng for no reason..i just like the shape of it..pay a few bucks for it and ended up not liking it now..i heard another *ka-ching*..and this time, it was from my pocket..

we went to starbucks..there goes another *ka-ching*..and many more petty things bought by yours truly..and many many more *ka-chings* along the way..arrghhh!!!

we went for a movie at gsc signatures..watching 14 blades which in the end my hero died..another *ka-ching*..
i hate movies where my hero dies..i love happy endings..

so yea..im ka-ching-ing all the way and im going out today again..

*ka-ching*

kvlye gave up..so i guessed we are all going to hear more *ka-chings* along the way..haha..

so yea, i guessed i need HHHHHEEEEELLLLPPPPPP!!!

* 25 to be *

i got depressed a week before my big day..the birthday..

now that im less than 24 hours to touch 25, i felt a sense of contentment..

it was a public holiday today and i went pak tor with kvlye..we had lunch together at my fav diner and off we went shopping..i bought a pair of jeans to spoil myself..also some roller perfume which its scent i adore so much..we also bought monopoly 3D to fill our time..haha..

we went for a time of movie..show wasnt all bad but it wasnt my cup of tea..the book of eli..

dinner was eaten at home..and i had just as much fun as i would have imagined it to be..

in a few hours time, im going to hear kvlye say "happy birthday, darling"..and i have no idea how i will react to it but spending my time with him, spending my day with him just makes everything so much better..

right now, im sipping soft drinks with him while talking and watching movie on the dvd player..

perfect!!

* run *

ignore the title..it just came out randomly out of no where..

anyways, i have something in mind..

people changed..they always do..one way or another, they will..

i stumble upon some pictures of a lovely couple..the mother of one of them is very 'weird'..in a way not a friendly person from how i know her..

but one accident changed her life forever..she recovered and her perception towards life and her child changed..she became such a lovable person who is impossible to hate..she loves her child's other half unlike before..she loves her family in ways i can never imagine and her family came back to her in ways i can never imagine..

so..people changed..they always do..it's the matter of time..

and i believe in that..

my prayers and blessing to the beautiful couple who beat the odds in life to be together..though im a bit jealous but i wish them well..and to the mother too..

and yes, people changed..for both the better and the worst..

* korean dudes *

im crazy about boys over flower..CRAZY!!!

the dudes in this show is soooooo the handsome and hot..phew!!!

and im so into kim hyun joong..

he sweeps me off my feet, head and everything else..

i know im engaged and all but whats wrong with dreaming..

can i go to korea to meet the cute hyun joong?

someone please fly me there..

LOL..

* updates *

not much updates..

i celebrated cny in AS and this year, kvlye was nice enough to come back with me..

we drove back on the eve of cny at 4am..yup, in the morning..traffic flow was better than expected and the fact that i got myself ready to pee in the plastic bags just vanished..

we went to thailand on the 4th day of cny..and yup, i went shopping crazee there..it's a whole lot of shopping activities going on..it's a good thing that we weren't tax..

i bought bountiful of goodies especially bags..cutesy stuffs and yummylicious foodies..haha..

and yup, i gained loads of weight..crap crap..

and because i didn't get to shop for clothes there in thailand, kvlye bought 2 sweater for me from zara..and kvlye's mom bought me 2 tops frpm shanghai and i bought some more clothes online..woohoo..what's missing are shorts and shoes..

and im abit depressed these few days..maybe because im aging and the fact that im going to turn 25 soon..it's getting into my head in a bad and sad way..am i normal..

ok..love life wise..im still engaged..and still have no dates and days set yet for the special, big day..still in the midst of counseling..but im really excited about my new life..

i'll upload pics later when i have the time..right now, im loaded with other important responsibilities..

till then, have a good day..

* He knows *

i had had a moment where im filled with all the anxieties the world can ever give me..

that night, i couldn't fall asleep..no matter how much effort i put in..i can remember how bad i felt and how torturing it was..to stayed up all night thinking about what might have been and worrying about everything under the sun..

i was so pre-occupied with my stubborn thoughts that i couldn't listen to what the Lord wants to tell me..i couldn't..

i couldn't let Him in..and i knew well that He is waiting for me to let Him in..

i was stubborn..too overly stubborn..i hate it when im like that but somehow or rather, i refuse to let that part of me go..

but God is faithful and im super sure that He cares alot for me and that He loves me..i need that affirmation and He never fails to give that to me..

the next morning, i went to work..and i was still.......filled with all the anxieties the world can ever give me..

just then, God spoke..through someone during a group devotion and i knew immediately that it was for me..it was what He wanted to tell me the night before..the night when i was too busy worrying and too busy counting my rubbish thoughts..

that morning, He spoke, and i listened..and i was affirmed..

cast all your anxieties to Me..
cast all your anxieties to Me.,.
cast all your anxieties to Me..

and with that, i rest assured..

* now *

im beyond tired now..

have been working over a month now and loving it..have been falling sick for the past few weeks and not loving it..

im counting the days left before the long break im going to enjoy..and yes, with kvlye too..so happy..

we have spend our time together lately..i eman, i see him alot..he fetches me to work every morning and sometimes, sends me home..but we have not pak tor berdua-duaan for quite some time..the only time i can remember us having our own quality time together was last saturday..for about 3 hours..but i was kinda tired then..because i had to work in the morning..

but we have a date this saturday..whole day and also sunday..half a day..hehe..

im looking forward to it..monday is a break day for me..no work..hurray..

and my pay is coming out either tomorrow or thursday..kvlye's too..so that means its gonna be a huge gala for me..SHOPPING time..woohoo..

now who says that working life is a total disaster?

haha..

look who is laughing now?

haha..

ME!!

* im sick *

im sick and im hating it..

slept for a good 15 hours and now, i had enough of sleeping..it makes me feel stupid..haha..

what am i doing now?

blogging and fb-ing on the bed..im lying down on the bed and doing all these side ways..too desperate to get online..

cant eat cuz whatever goes in my mouth will come out..

so yea..

have been working and work is fine..loving it and having loads of fun doing what im doing..

have been doing some spending too..haha..and now, im wishing to get a new hp, new clothes and new pair of glasses..

got my new pair of shoes last week which cost a bomb but that bomb was so comfortable..woohoo..

next pre-marital counseling is gonna be on sunday..excited..

* work starts *

im blogging in the office..yipeeyayo..a brief one though..

haha..

and yes, im officially working..still on probation though but im happy with the way things are right now..

lotsa work to do..not much time to spare but im loving this alot..

ah well..gtg now..

told you it's gonna be brief..

more updates later..

toodles..

* living my dreams *

this post was supposed to be posted like a week ago but then the dates got messed up adn the details got pushed forward and the storage of blogger.com went haywire and this and that..im done explaining but im just gonna let it settle here above my sweet new year post..


living my dreams..

im a dreamer..i daydream most of the time and i dream alot at night..even when i wake up to pee in the middle of the night (i always do), somehow, my dreams will continue..funny but true..

i have alot of dreams and sometimes, i wished i could live in my own dreams where im the girl everyone loves and have almost everything i ever wanted..

lately, someone has been living my dreams and it was painful for me..

i couldn'd lock the ugly green monster inside me and it escaped and i ended up spilling most of it to kvlye who by now should be sick of listening to it already..

the girl..who has been living my dreams have everything i ever wanted or set eyes on..

designers bags..designers shoes..designers clothing..designers vacation spots..designers gadgets..even a designers look..pretty, hot, slim and gorgeous..

im so freaking jealous..i mean, how is it possible?

sadly, it is..i see her almost all the time and every time i watch her, i hated me..i dont know why..maybe my inside voice is doing all the talking and all the thinking..

she's nothing but a sweet good girl..who is living my dreams..and i wished i could make it a reality..

i gave it much thought and the much thought gave me much headaches..

i began to talk to God..and somehow, i felt secure..

you know, it doesnt matter who is living your dreams because one way or another, nobody is perfectly perfect..

when i begin to talk to her..she told me she wished she had some of the things that i have..things that she always dreamt of but never had..i was shocked..how can someone so perfect in my eyes wants some of my things? its true indeed..no one is perfect..

so the next time you go all depress because someone is living you dreams, just pause for a moment, think..breathe and calm down because somewhere out there, someone might wished to be you..

you might be living someone else's dreams..

that can be true too..

for now, im happy to be me..

cheerio..

* flash back *

was reading blogs after blogs and most of them are talking about how this year have been and im gonna do just the same..peer pressure never cease in me..haha..

so here goes.. * takes a deep breath *


jan: celebrated new year in marriot hotel with kvlye and family..one of the nicest buffet ive tasted my entire life..and doing so tonight as well..

feb: got my first ever fossil watch from kvlye and my first ever huge card handwritten by kvlye..

march: uni..assignments..pain in my butt..haha..

april: uni..finals..pain in my butt..

may: grandpa passed away..another pain in the butt..officially a grad..parted with uni besties *missing-mary,shenny,esee,vic,carmen,tiff,eunice,weiqi,the bear*

june: result out..final lap was great..dean list award..confirmed degree..

july: got a job as an english tutor with good pay..

august: convocation and first studio snaps with over 50 shots..im the star..cell trip to melaka..

september: double As' wedding..wedding of the year..house scouting for future with kvlye..

october: kvlye proposed with a ring and i said yes and we've been engaged ever since..

november: gotten our counselors..3rd year anni for kvlye and i..nova one camp..spaceship was way too cool for my eyes and the cast of nova one, hot and awesome..

december: first french dining..first session of pre-marital counseling..lotsa holidays..preps to work in jan 2010..last day of 2009, buffet at marriot again..





thats about it..yes i know, i live a boring and a dull life..but nvm..im sure 2010 will be just as good if not better..im looking forward to it and i hope you guys are as well..btw, i kept 8 out of 10 of my 2009 new year's resolution..not bad huh?haha..

HAPPY 2010 PEOPLE..